have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize