shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
