Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
