Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize