Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I would fuck him just for his dog
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
