; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
