we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
