If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
