Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize