She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
