Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
