Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
