Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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