I am in a vortex of obligation.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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