There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
