i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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