if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize