is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
