also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
