My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
