So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
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I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
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I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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