Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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