i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
