I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
