hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I love having hate sex.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
