so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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