id be glad to
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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