Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
