my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Semen is not good for contacts.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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