Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
