I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
