I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
