dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Operation Purity has been aborted
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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