Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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