Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
