Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
