"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
