So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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