Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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