dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize