Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
