She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
