I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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