It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
