What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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