Its about making memories worth repressing
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
