hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
