I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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