i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
