it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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