if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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