I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
