I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
