I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
