How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i drank out of a bidet.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
