I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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