Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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