i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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