oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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