We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
BRING THE BAGELS
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
