Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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