I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
